Why Change? (yourself)

My mom asked me today why I have changed so much from when I was a child. She teaches and coaches about personalities, and how to use that understanding to become more effective personally and professionally.

Call it your high school coach, only for life, not football.

I used to be shy, reserved, unmotivated. I was comfortable having the few friends I had, and was a specific personality, called high "S". But I knew about the other personalities from her teaching our family.

So why change?
I saw the benefits of the other personalities, and I wanted those benefits. But plenty of people say they want something, but do nothing. The change came from two factors. My mom, and the things our family learned from her studying personalities, and reading Stephen Coveys "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".

If you like self help books, great. If you don't, you are either doing all the things in your life you want, do not like reading, or are not in a painful enough situation to change what you are currently doing.

Anyways, good book.

So mom and personalities. By learning about personalities, I saw that if I had big dreams for my life, I was going to have to get out of my comfort zone, and learn some new skills. To be CEO of Christopher Inc. I would have to try things that were not comfortable.

First Step
Learn what other successful people have done. What do they do on a daily basis? Why are they successful? So I read books about them.

Second Step
Try it. Fail miserably! If they were good networkers (Keith Ferrazi, Dale Carnege), they talked to people. They learned the art of small talk, and meeting strangers. So I did that, and sucked at it for a while. Now, I am not as sucky! The point of this is, just do it. Put yourself it uncomfortable circumstances, and learn the skills you want to have, to be the person you want to be.

Third Step
Learn some more, then try it, fail, then not be as bad as before.
This is where the reading books part comes in.

I used to know everything. I did not need self help books. I could hear their sales pitch before they said it. But I was not living what they suggested. It took getting over myself, and realizing that everyone has something they can teach me. I intuitively understand some things, but I can always learn and grow.

Now, I am addicted to learning new things, getting out of my comfort zone, and growing. It is a cycle for me now. Learn something new, try it, fail, try again, get better, then go learn something else new. Good times, good times.

Another interesting book

I recently had a great conversation with a local inventor. Full disclosure, I was being interviewed for a position in her company. Nevertheless, a good conversation.

Out of that good conversation, came a good book recommendation. I interviewed on Friday, went from the office to the bookstore to pick it up, and now Sunday night am two thirds of the way through. Enough with the suspense, what is the name of the book! Not so fast(I do realize you could easily scroll down to the part where I tell you the name, but it would be more fun if you don't just yet, honest).

A book of mystery and intrigue.... nope.
What some would call "fun" reading.... nope.

It is about Starfish (that was a hint, google that if you dare, but still not enough to go on yet!)

But seriously, it was about organizations, and how really good ones have thrived without a figurehead at the helm. It is helping me to understand how Linux has come about, and what I want to do when I grow up. The subtext of the title states (nother hint coming) "The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations".

Now I disagree with the that subtext to some extent. The authors go on to clarify the roles that people play in these organizations, and there are leaders, they just do not look like the typical leader one would think of (one being a mythical person that thinks exactly what the majority thinks, or something silly like that) when one thinks of a leader.

Instead of leader, the authors look at one position in these groups that they studied, that they call the catalyst person. The catalyst helps the organization to adapt and change, is comfortable with ambiguity, make loose connections between people and ideas, and other interesting things. The one interesting thing, is that the hierarchical organization this person is in, does not always like the way the catalyst is stirring things up. I remember hearing of a Gorilla Award at the wheelchair manufacturing company Quickie. They gave the gorilla award to someone who was always advocating for positive change, and who was a pain to work with, or always rocked the boat, but absolutely necessary for the organization.

I have wanted to be a Gorilla for a while, but have not been able to articulate what it looked like, or why a company should have me. Who wants things to get stirred up, changed, the boat rocked (besides me).

Well, now that I have almost read all of...... gasp...


"The Starfish and the Spider" *releases breath that I have been holding the whole time*
I have a better understanding of what I believe are my natural talents. Making things messy, asking tough questions, pushing organizations, tools, resources to their furthest limit, and loving every second of it. I have written about it in the past, and I think I may have to devote a whole blog to chronicling people in recent and ancient past (before cellphones and beyond) that had these catalytic traits.

The Book, the book, get back to the book *voice in my head telling me what to do*
Ok... Fine... It is good. If you wondered why the Apache Indians, or the Apache servers did so well, back in the day, check it out. Even if you have never thought about those separate but similar stories, the book parallels many old organizations with current incarnations of "Leaderless Organizations" (think AA or Abolitionists for old, and Wikipedia or Napster for new).