Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Why Change? (yourself)

My mom asked me today why I have changed so much from when I was a child. She teaches and coaches about personalities, and how to use that understanding to become more effective personally and professionally.

Call it your high school coach, only for life, not football.

I used to be shy, reserved, unmotivated. I was comfortable having the few friends I had, and was a specific personality, called high "S". But I knew about the other personalities from her teaching our family.

So why change?
I saw the benefits of the other personalities, and I wanted those benefits. But plenty of people say they want something, but do nothing. The change came from two factors. My mom, and the things our family learned from her studying personalities, and reading Stephen Coveys "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".

If you like self help books, great. If you don't, you are either doing all the things in your life you want, do not like reading, or are not in a painful enough situation to change what you are currently doing.

Anyways, good book.

So mom and personalities. By learning about personalities, I saw that if I had big dreams for my life, I was going to have to get out of my comfort zone, and learn some new skills. To be CEO of Christopher Inc. I would have to try things that were not comfortable.

First Step
Learn what other successful people have done. What do they do on a daily basis? Why are they successful? So I read books about them.

Second Step
Try it. Fail miserably! If they were good networkers (Keith Ferrazi, Dale Carnege), they talked to people. They learned the art of small talk, and meeting strangers. So I did that, and sucked at it for a while. Now, I am not as sucky! The point of this is, just do it. Put yourself it uncomfortable circumstances, and learn the skills you want to have, to be the person you want to be.

Third Step
Learn some more, then try it, fail, then not be as bad as before.
This is where the reading books part comes in.

I used to know everything. I did not need self help books. I could hear their sales pitch before they said it. But I was not living what they suggested. It took getting over myself, and realizing that everyone has something they can teach me. I intuitively understand some things, but I can always learn and grow.

Now, I am addicted to learning new things, getting out of my comfort zone, and growing. It is a cycle for me now. Learn something new, try it, fail, try again, get better, then go learn something else new. Good times, good times.